When things are nasty or a bit harsh or in short if there are a lot of things that weighing you so much, that you even need to drag yourself out of your bed, sometimes the best way to feel better is to go home.
I am working away from my hometown. And unfortunately, I rarely go home since practically speaking, it costs money and I usually have limited time. So I usually go home when I'm on leave from work or there's an occasion. But there's one more thing that will make me feel the need to go home- it's when I'm feeling too much baggage is taking place within.
Someone like me who works away from her hometown always have that feeling to go home when things get worse.
Being at home is very overwhelming, and I didn't realize that not until I moved out. I'm not saying independence is terrible, in fact independence could make you feel strong, could make you more responsible and mature, independence is freedom in a mature way, who doesn't like freedom by the way? But there will always be that day that no matter how strong, mature and responsible you become you will always feel the need to be at your comfort zone- to be at home.
Indeed, there's no place like home. No matter how annoying your siblings are, how nagger your mother is, no matter how boring you feel sometimes, still you go home, because somewhere on the annoyance of your siblings, unending nags of your mother and undefeated boredom, you find comfort. The kind of comfort that you never get out of freedom. The comfort that heals within.
This week hit me with a heavy blow that I feel like idling for some time.
I know, I need to unload. I need to feel safe. I need to feel fine despite the despites and God knows I need to feel really home, not just at home.
xx,
Clang