Not everyone will be there for you.
Not every day will someone have the time to meet you. It’s not every day that someone wants to join you for lunch. It’s not every day that someone has the kind heart to help you out.
Holding grudges against them is a waste of time. The best thing to do? Love yourself; love your own company.
I want to fill my heart with so much happiness that I don’t have to depend on others for it. If you’re making me happy, thank you. And if you’re not? I don’t care. My happiness doesn’t depend on anyone or anything. I’ve been through tough times to become my own source of happiness.
I want to keep falling in love with myself over and over again so that I don’t need someone else’s heart for it. If you’re here to love me, thank you. But if you’re just here to hurt me, don’t waste your time. I have loved myself so much that I won’t feel less loved just because someone tried to.
I want to be okay after any bad situation—whether I face endings or experience loss. I will definitely shed some tears, mourn, or even get mad. But I don’t want to see my world crashing down as if that’s the only thing I have. I am more than that. I have been through dark places in my life, and there will never be a situation that will put me back in the darkness again. I’ve been through a lot, and I will never forget who I am just because someone decided to come, inflict pain on me, and leave.
And most importantly...
I want to open my door to someone who’s worthy of my world. Someone who will give me an extra hand in taking care of my heart. Someone who will make me feel like I’m on cloud nine. Someone who will make me feel like the happiest person alive. But I don’t want him to own me—own what I have built for myself. I will never allow him to break my heart just because he offered me a helping hand to hold it. I will never allow him to drown me in emptiness. He came into my world with my heart strong and full, and I’m not going back to square one just because I fell in love with him and didn’t see this downfall coming. I know better. I want to know better. I should know better.
But if your intentions are pure, come and join me in my world. I’ll share with you my dance floor, where you can see my raw self—the self I don’t normally share, but for you, I will. I will share with you my happiness, the happiness I’ve worked so hard for. But always remember, just because I share these things with you doesn’t mean I’m sharing everything. I will decide how much I give. Also, please know that you are not replacing the love and happiness that I already have for myself; you are just adding to what’s already there.
I will love you, so much even. But not more than myself. I will be your number one fan, supporter, adviser, and best friend. We’ll go head over heels for each other. I will love you on your worst days and sides. Believe me when I say that, because I have loved my dirtiest side, so it’s not hard for me to love that same side of the person I decided to open my heart to.
It’s going to be an alien feeling, sharing a part of me with you, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be amazing. There will be bad days, but I’m going to love you most days, or maybe all days.
But hey, listen. I am beautiful on my own. Even before you came, before you danced with me, before you laughed with me—even without your helping hands—I was already in love with myself and beautiful on my own.
So don’t get me wrong if I say that if things don’t end the way we envisioned them, I will be okay.
Because with or without you, I am okay.
Clang
